Falling in Love vs. Real Love and Partnership
Falling in Love vs. Real Love & Partnership
Falling in love holds a promise we have yet to fully comprehend. Intuitively we know it holds a key to our expansion, because it has the profound capacity to bring out the best and worst in us.
When it comes to romance, the most significant misperception we suffer from is the idea that love is the sensation you experience when you *think* you’ve met the person of your dreams. But that is not love. That is a mix of chemicals firing off and expectations being met. It is a biological high combined with a psychological idea of what this new relationship could mean for your potential happiness. Neither of those things are really love.
Love is something you create, not an emotion that arises out of thin air. Many people fall in love, but few know how to develop it into something that lasts for this very reason. Attraction arises out of thin air. Love does not.
Love is a connection, not an attachment. The emotion you feel immediately when you see someone is what attachment is born of. It is the idea that they can solve all of your problems and give you the life you’ve always dreamed.
When you assume that love is just a feeling that just happens, you are always at the whim of it, rather than consciously creating it in your life. If you don’t believe that love is something you can choose to create, you will be thrown around by your fleeting, shifting emotions for the rest of your life. One day, someone will seem perfect for you, and the next, you’ll think you want to leave them, only because you don’t feel the high you think is “love” anymore.
The real reasons to love someone are the ones you discover over time. It’s that they’re always there for you, that they make you happy, that they are your everyday partner and most trustworthy confidante; not that they are attractive or have a great job or seem like “the one.” (Those things are great, but are not the thing on which anniversaries are built.)
The more you love someone, the more attractive they become. When you’re really in love with someone, you not only begin to think they are more attractive than they are, but you also begin to believe they’re more attractive than you are, too. It’s just a function of evolutionary psychology, but either way, proves that even attraction can be something you develop over time.
Being in love is not a feeling, but instead a consistent display of actions, followed by words and experiences that two people share with each other.
Real love & partnership implies
a goal of encouraging and supporting the unfolding of each other’s soul’s reasons
for being here in the first place.
– allowing ourselves to become fully immersed in knowing and being known fully by another human being
– learning the terrain and the language of love through a commitment to the spiritual advancement of another person
– learning to be completely vulnerable and undefended while at the same time being 100% authentic and true to ourselves
– going beyond the pervasive ideas of our parents’ generation that romantic union was about compromise and sacrifice and
– moving into an experience of “romantic” love as expansive and inclusive